Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Liking is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts.

In Jonathan Franzen's "Liking is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts." he begins with how impressed he is with how far technology has advanced.  He then mentions the relationships we have with new devices and how intrigued we have become with the market's goal to continuously create products that we, as consumers, want.  We are beginning to realize that technology is developing to replace the natural world - that happens to be against our wishes - with a world that is extremely responsive and creates an extension of self.
A world that Jonathan mentions as an excellent example would happen to be Facebook.  It has brought us a transformation of the verb "to like."  This verb went from a feeling to an assertion of consumer choice.
  There is a constant thrive to be likable and people are always searching for ways to portray a likeable image.  On the web this constant thrive is understandable but in human life the desperation to be liked is considered pathetic.  Franzen describes that in the end of this change to be likable, you will hurt yourself and cause depression.  We don't consider technology's manipulation the same as people's because it is again, an extension of ourselves.  Facebook is a way to show off ourselves, or as Jonathan Franzen says, mirror ourselves.  To friend a person is letting them into our "private hall of flattering mirrors."  J.Franzen mentions we have grown narcissistic tendencies with the growth of social media sites and sooner or later the perfectly likeable image will shatter and the real person behind the computer will come out. 
We use the word like because love goes so much deeper.  It touches the heart so to avoid that hurt, we stay safe and use the word like.  Pain is a natural product and indicator and as Franzen said earlier, we are using technology to avoid natural anything.  He then says "to go through life painlessly is to have not lived."  He also mentions that people who try to wait for that love and pain stuff to come later are cosigning themselves ten years of taking up space on the planet and burning up resources.  Basically, waiting isn't going to cause it to hurt any less, so what is the point?
Jonathan Franzen started something "uncool," he started bird-watching.  With bird watching came the love of birds; with the love of birds came the care for them and the care for their home and environment.  Bird-watching brought him back to his original love, the environment and the hope he had to change what the world was doing to it. He had stopped hoping for change because he thought there was nothing meaningful that he could personally do to save the planet but his new love brought him back to where he started.  What came with the love he gained was recognition of a part of him that he had never seen before.  He became less self-centered and learned to accept the anger, despair, and pain, which eventually becomes easier when you embrace something that you love.  There is a change of heart when interacting with real people or animals and it helps with care and acceptance.  

I find the goal technology has- to replace a natural world that's indifferent to our wishes - is succeeding rapidly.  Technology has created a whole other world when it comes to the social media connections.  People have been hiding behind the verb "to like" and it is something a majority of the world has been doing for quite some time now.  Facebook has turned the verb into the "commercial culture's substitute for loving" and it will forever have a different meaning because of this social media site. Let's get everyone away from the "Like" button for a moment, shall we? I feel it is important to get out and do something you are passionate about because as Jonathan Franzen said "one half of passion is obsession, the other half is love." It will also make you realize there is a less narcissistic part of you (or it won't) and you will realize that the real reaction with people and animals may cause you to love them.

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